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InnerVoice 16 Jul, 2018

This is What It Feels Like to Be a Lesbian in India

Lesbianism is not a disease but we lost the battle with the world.

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I had just hit puberty. Most of my friends had boyfriends who would send them the heart and kiss emojis. The flowery romance between guys and girls never fascinated me. My school had an atmosphere where talking about crushes was as healthy as talking about what you ate last night. I couldn't relate to them. I thought there was something wrong with me. 

I had girls in my class who would funnily hit on me, and I would get flattered like I would want more of it. But if a guy did that, I felt disgusted.

I felt anxious, uncomfortable in the company of guys and one beautiful day, one of my close friends decided to sleep over at my place. She was bold, beautiful and if I'm allowed to say 'SEXY'. She had that thing in her which pulled me towards her. Something was electrifying about her which made me realise that nothing was wrong with me. I just loved girls more than I ever cared about guys. I didn't share all this with her because I feared that she will judge me and that I might lose her, but I wanted to confess it to her.